I've laid out a few stupid things that followers do... but I, your not-so-humble narrator, would not go on thinking that I am myself a desireable partner as well. Nor would I hope to fool anyone into thinking that I've got any real claim to knowing what I'm doing. No, quite the contrary.
You see, I'm more, much more of a liability than being simply annoying to dance with - I am downright dangerous.
A few of my readers who've been out dancing with me for years know firsthand what I was known for on the floor - that is to say, often quite aggressive, flashy martial arts coated in a thick funky layer of musicality. I used to be pretty good - dancing at clubs and raves four to five nights a week - and at the same time period, djing, performing, and training in Uechi-Ryu. I was powerful, fast, reflexive, and worked daily to discover, refine, and perfect new moves and techniques - I truly loved dancing.
Of course, that was a different time; 10-15 years ago - young, energetic, flexible, and all my joints were full-range and operational. I've since... changed... gained upwards of 50lbs, devastated my knees with Capoeira (despite it adding many new moves to my repetoire), and, frankly, got old and jaded. I started yearning for a career instead of a club night. A steady paycheck instead of a weekend rave - and most certainly "adult" friends in favor of socializing with sketchy club kids more interested in their next hit than their day-to-day stability. And "adult" friends are much harder to convince into night after night of dancing until sunup.
And so it went, or so I thought. I was somewhat convinced - perhaps rightfully so - by relationship partners that the mature adult had no real place residing in clubs for entertainment, and for the past few years had resigned myself to learning to be happy on the couch. (In fairness, I did come out of that life with a great home theater system to compensate for staying home constantly - but I digress.) But where it's true that there's a great degree of immaturity one must deal with in the club scene - I have always been and will always be [driven by] and [driven to] music that moves people to dance.
YES, I'm getting on with my story - because this brings us to Andrea. Nearly the first moment I'd started talking with her, she was gushing about swing. It, like many of you, is her true passion in life. I'd been to a swing event or two in Providence (early Waterfires for one) and while I can't say Lindy was my favorite category on SYTYCD, I had always held reverence for good swing dancers. A punk skateboarder from youth through college, I'd listened to more than my share of ska and rockabilly, and in Providence in those years, those scenes went hand in hand with the big band and swing acts.
It surprised her, more than a bit, when she mentioned that we couldn't hang out that Friday because, well, she was committed to a swing dance and I probably wouldn't want to go... and yet I begged to tag along. I assembled a slick outfit, took the intro lesson, then immediately forgot it and happily made a fool out of myself bouncing around the floor, mercilessly twirling a distraught girl entirely unsure what monster she'd just birthed - but I was hooked.
Over the next few days and weeks to come, she listened to my stories (with understandable disbelief) - that yes, I could actually dance - and we should head out to my comfort zone sometime. So one fateful night after my introduction to blues dancing at Blues Union, we headed to Elements, the long-running drum&bass night at the Phoenix Landing, to see DJ Fresh and hopefully, destroy the dancefloor together.
Well, destruction was on the agenda, but I don't think it was what we had in mind.
You see, when I dance to electronic music, I put 110% into it. I -dance-. I rock-the-fuck-out. It used to be common to find me in battle circles with the breakdancers, stealing the space they'd cleared for moments that I could shine, throwing spinkicks, capoeira acrobatics, and breakbeat re-interpretations of kungfu, taichi, aikido, and other arts I've learned and stolen from - in time, on the beat, on the breaks, channeling the music into movement as a good dancer will.
This night was no exception to that intent... but... well... I forgot a few critical details. I forgot that I'm not 22 anymore. I forgot that my reflexes have waned and my peripheral vision has narrowed. I forgot that my flexibility has stiffened and my strength has diminished. I forgot that I no longer possess the precise control or the lighting speed in my kicks that had for years allowed me to include dangerous moves into my dances on packed floors and walk away without injuring onlookers.
I forgot. And... well... no one warned Andrea.
Having taken a few basic lessons (in retrospect one might say "enough to be dangerous"), I was eager to try to lead, and we headed straight for the dance area. The music was on point, and Andrea rapidly found herself comfortable with the swing timing in drumnbass - it was great. Even with my limited knowlege, we shared some great moments excuting turns together to the huge rolling breaks omnipresent in dnb.
It was awesome, and I was in the groove... and I started working. Suddenly, she finds herself dodging kicks. Poorly executed, terrible form... I can say there's nothing I could say in my own defense - I was a trainwreck.
And suddenly, her look of "what the hell is this boy doing?" turns to a pained scrunchy-face, and she grabs her thigh and hobbles off the floor. What years ago would have been a fantastic head high hook-kick had, in my old age and waning physique, become an awfully executed, waist-high snapkick that returned with more power than it left with - and on return, nailed her thigh with a heel.
Some lead I am.
After a drink and volumes of sheepish apologies, she recovers enough to dance more, and we head for a less-excitable area in the back of the room and resume enjoying ourselves.
...at least, for a few moments. My clumsy execution of a turn evolved into an open-hand strike - completely missing the airspace, and nailing the next available target:
Her.
So when I say that Andrea has shown great patience with me... or I say that it should be clear - I'm far from a flawless dancer... know that nothing is more true.
Freestylers - "Ruffneck"
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P89n75bCUTA
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